Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Tiger'ish Tales Vol 4: All The Pretty Horses

It didn't take long to begin noticing that Logan's biggest problem wasn't an embarrassing family. First of all, he had all the cliche bad roommate traits. He'd wake-up hours before me, make lots of noise -country music at 6 in the morning. Spill sink water onto me while I slept and he popped zits -wiping them on the mirror- eat my food, leave his wet laundry on my bed, etc. Horrible shit, but not unheard of.

I should have known from the moment he went from not speaking around family to being perfectly chatty when they left that he was crazy. I would eventually find out that he was truly the little prince of his clan. He had an older brother who had died and Logan was the replacement child. He was sheltered and spoiled because his brother died by accident. I never learned what exactly happened. I did learn that they even named him after his brother. His brother was also named Logan. FUCK ME. Mostly isolated from the larger world, Logan lived on the goat farm as a precious jewel that was to be protected both physically and mentally. He wasn't kept from the greater world, but everything was filtered through his parents editing.

Now, before you feel sorry for the fucker -remember that he wasn't being abused he was being treated like a god. The problem came when they -actually rather surprisingly- left him to his own devices as a college boy. I liken it to the Amish sending their young men out to be tested. Problem is, he in no way was ready for socializing with the real world.

When they bought his computer, it came with a DVD player, which was very rare at the time. So he picked out two movies that he played CONSTANTLY -even if it was only the sound in the background. What two flicks would an average 18 year old in 2000 pick? Not these:

It would be bad enough if the movies weren't awful, but god damn it, Robin Williams as a robot and fucking Cuba Gooding Jr. buddying up with Skeet Ulrich? Eventually he would get X-MEN and run that into the ground, taking notes on his future.

Worse though, then the movies, was that the PC offered him his first foray into the internet, where nothing is off limits, everything is the best ever and he could get validation for his every strange belief. His MP3 of choice? The Hamster Dance. Over and over. His initial obsession? Horses. He would print out hundreds of horse pictures and hang them up all over our room. In asking about this, I got the first visit from Tiger'ish:

ME: So what's with the horses?
L:They are my friends.
M: I just saw you get that off the internet. It's fucking Mr. Ed.
L: We like each other.
M: (already somewhat used to creepy statements like that) So are horses your favorite animals?
L: No. They are just friendlies. My favorite are unicorns.
M: You know they're not real, right?
L: Just because you haven't seen one doesn't mean they are not real. You've never seen a dragon, but you believe in them.
M: Fuckin' A. dude.

He went on to show me the pictures and tell me about the horses personalities, names, etc. Even when it was Mr. Ed or a Budweiser ad, they were friendlies with names, etc.

Years later I saw GRIZZLY MAN and a chill went down my spine. This Timothy Treadwell fucker reminded me so much of Logan. They both can be in society, but have constructed such an elaborate fantasy world that you just know someone's getting hurt. It is in seeing this movie that people can get the clearest idea of who Logan thought he was in relation to animals. The only real difference is that Treadwell was benevolent, trying to protect (he felt) the animals, whereas Logan never lost sight that they too, were here for his pleasure and his pleasure alone. Here's the trailer:


  1. Chino says: "Why am I having so much trouble leaving a comment? Things used to be so easy..."

  2. I don't know anything about the comments here. If you think it is a setting I've selected, or something like that, let me know. Anyhow, expect a new post Mon./Tues.

  3. Nah, don't think it's you Morty. It's just a convoluted sign-in process, which I think I have now simplified... maybe...

    Looking forward to further tales.